Have you ever been in an energy crisis before? I hadn’t… until last week! A virus had half our family down and I just. Couldn’t.
My body was acting out. My hip went into a crazy pain tightness and it’s never done that before. Then I got a virus. About a day after I posted a great TED talk about women not taking good enough care of themselves. DUH! I am a hypocrite!
So, as I was laying on the gravel in my garden wrapped up in blankets, watching the children play, I realized that sometimes you just have to live your lessons. I do take care of myself, but not enough lately. My body was freaking out. I’m not the only one. Gin also had her back go out and was immobilized for minutes while in the care of her two children! We both believe that signs are everywhere and we are learning to listen to them sooner.
I literally laid on the gravel in the garden, no energy to do anything other than supervise my children. I know others are depressed like this all of the time. I had a fleeting glimpse into that world. I didn’t like what I felt.
The downs thankfully left my body as the virus did. It wasn’t even that bad of a virus but the energy crisis-sads-who-knows-hormones-probably-too were legit. I felt helpless. I’m so grateful that that level of helplessness lasted only a couple of days. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing that in any way, shape, or form. I’m so glad my coping skills included getting horizontal in nature, making bone broth, upping the snuggles with my children, and listening to good music. If you’re really down, it doesn’t matter where you live, what’s around you, or what your circumstances are, you will still feel mostly the same. It can just happen, I guess.
The odd part about my depression for a few days was that there wasn’t any real trigger. I’ve had some triggers in my life but none detectable at this time other than low energy from going too many directions.
Here’s how the rest of that manic week went: Monday- pretty down, not feeling well. Tuesday- feeling better and ready to go! Wednesday- fly to MAUI (yup you read that right) for a girls trip. Sunday- reunite with a hot reunion with my husband as the kids were in bed PRO- couple time! CON- didn’t get to see kids after being gone for 4 days. Monday- left one of my dream jobs to simplify life. It’s been in the works for a few months but that was my week. Tuesday- launched our shop website.
That’s a wrap. Energy crisis—> major rejuvenation—–> simplification—–> more peace, more calm, less… stuff.
Here’s to listening to your brain first and then your body if you don’t listen good enough to your brain, and then taking actual good care of your spirit (even without an aloha trip planned), and then combing through life and letting go of some stuff. Even good stuff.
my sister took this photo on a hike we’d driven 4 hours to experience
Happy tears have been shed over leaving my work, but it is what I need to do. Less directions to go, more focus on where I’m going, and the happy tears are welcomed.
I wrote this 1.5 months ago and have since realized that the cycle (cue the horror music) is contributing to the sads… When it came right ’round again the third week in my cycle… I think I need to re-read the red tent and drink my weight in tea next time. Anyone else have some major mood fluctuations around that time? Yikes!