I am a busy mom of two very energetic and very strong-willed children. My son is 3 1/2 and my daughter turned one in June. We do a lot of reading, story telling and playing make-believe. My son has a very creative imagination and he never ceases to amaze me with it. I also have my own salon and work 2-3 days a week as well as being a wellness distributor for WIN Worldwide. My husband and I have been married for 5 years.
My biggest strength as a mom is my ability to teach through activity. Whether it means having my son help me in the kitchen by putting chopped veggies in a bowl or having him hold the dustpan while I sweep the crumbs in, I try to keep them active and involved. My daughter loves playing with the pots and pans. We really limit TV and screen time, so I have to find creative ways to engage them while I am doing things around he house. I’ll admit– it usually takes a lot longer to get things done!
When I’m not with my kids, I’m at the salon. I need to be better about taking time for myself. When I do, I like to catch up with a friend over a glass of wine.
Healing is so complex, and seems to be a two steps forward, one step back process. Can you describe your birth experience?
My first birth with my son, I planned a natural childbirth, but ended up with an unexpected c section that I feel could have been prevented. At the time, I didn’t know any better and trusted my doctor and the hospital.
With the birth of my daughter, I was bound and determined to VBAC and went above and beyond to prepare for it.
I was dead set against another c section. I ate healthy, did pregnancy specific exercises to help open up my pelvis for birth, and hired a doula. My doctor said she was on board.
The night of her delivery my labor came on fast and furious. Within an hour and a half I was fully dilated! I was going through transition in the car on the way to the hospital!
When we arrived at the hospital it was chaos. The nursing staff was less than helpful and their lack of compassion (and lack of assistance) was both appalling and shocking. They seemed as if I was wasting their time and they had better things to do.
I was already pushing when my doctor arrived. Within moments of arriving she began talking about the need for a c section. Within 15-20 minutes I was being taken to the OR and being prepped for an emergency c-section. I was in complete shock. All I could think was “I can’t believe this is happening again.”
I was told my baby’s heart rate was dropping, but that was it.
Here I was again, not being able to have that first hour of skin to skin with my baby. We had waited to find out the sex of our child but because I was put under, everyone else knew what we had before I did.
Later I was told my incision tore larger on both sides, causing a lot of blood loss, making me severely anemic.
My recovery was a tough road.
I went through a grieving process with this birth. I felt let down by my doctor, the nurses, and in a sense, I felt like I had failed. I was told I am not a candidate for VBAC in the future because my incision tore so badly. Thankfully I had a lot of family support.
Talking about my experience, and having a good network of support has really helped me through his process.
How has this trauma shaped your future view or outlook for your family?
I always said I wanted 4 children. I was told that because my incision tore, that I am not a candidate for a VBAC in the future. I know we will try for one more baby, but I don’t think I have it in me to go through 4 c sections. That being said I am going to do more research and find out what my options are for a Vba2c.
What has surprised you about motherhood? What is something you miss about your pre-motherhood world? What has been better than expected about being a Mommy?
What amazes me most about motherhood is how these little people grow and develop and how much they are learning and taking in all the time. I’m just as amazed the second time around as I was the first.
The thing I miss most about my pre motherhood world is definitely sleep!!
Will I ever sleep again? (Please lie and say yes!)
Being a mom is better than I could have ever imagined it to be. Don’t get me wrong, we have our days, but the joy and love my children bring to our family is beyond words. It exceeds any expectation I ever had.
How does your business fit into your world? How does it bring balance?
I am fortunate that my business allows me to work part-time. It brings balance to my life by allowing me to be at home with my kids 4-5 days a week. When I do work, I get to be out of the house and I’m doing something I love and am passionate about.
My business website is here.
What are your roles as a wife? What does your husband do to bring balance to your home?
As a wife I support my husband and we work as a team to make decisions about our family. Our faith is central to our family life. We have a daily prayer routine with our kids. Teaching them how to pray helps foster structure, discipline and self-control. Without it, there would be no balance at all! Also, I do all the cooking–trust me it’s better that way!! Don’t worry, there are plenty of things that he takes care of around the house that I don’t do!
My husband is a very hands on dad. He does the bedtime routine with our son, while I tend to the baby. He’ll take the kids outside to play, so I can finish dinner. He’s also very willing to help with anything I ask of him.
Your birth stories are quite incredible and heart wrenching. Sounds like your husband is quite a guy, it’s so great you have that support to lift you up!