Gin & Zin

Connecting the pieces of the DNA puzzle: How we found the donor.

Thank you for reading my story! If you are starting from the beginning or need a refresher, you can read blogs 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

The Missing Link

A month went by, and during that time my brothers and I collectively took a break from all things related to genealogy and the donor. It was a much needed emotional rest after our disappointment over Richard not being the donor. But at the end of that month, I was itching to get back to our search for answers. I felt that the most important place to get started was on Ancestry.com. I hadn’t spent much time on the site, and I knew that there was a lot more information that we had yet to uncover.

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More Surprises.

If you aren’t up to date, or need a refresher, read blogs 1, 2, 3, 4.

Richard responds – in a way

When we received confirmation that our letter had been delivered to Richard, we anxiously awaited his response. We knew that it could take him some time to process his feelings and how connecting with us would impact his family. But he seemed so wonderful – we were certain that he would have an open mind and be willing to answer our questions.

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My Story Continues.

 

Hi, everyone. It’s hard to believe that it’s been six months since my last post. So much has happened since then, and I needed time to process everything. There have been many ups and downs in this journey that, at times, seems never ending. New information has left me feeling shocked, numbed, and sometimes depressed. But I’ve also experienced feelings of unimaginable gratitude, happiness, and down right joy. Thank you all for being a part of my story. Sharing with you has been extremely healing and rewarding. If you aren’t up to date, or need a refresher, read blogs 1, 2, and 3.

jaclyn-baxter
Photo Credit: Sacramento Bee

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23andMe: Painful Truths and a New Beginning.

This is Part 3 of my journey. You can find Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

Meeting each of my brothers was literally a childhood dream come true. Being an only child can be a lonely existence, and of course I never expected to find siblings at this age. Both brothers have held my hand throughout this process, guiding me through the unknown. The more I get to know them, the more excited I am to belong to this unconventional family.

No matter when or how someone finds out they were conceived via donor, there are questions and significant emotions to wade through. Loren has known for as long as he can remember that he was donor conceived. Tim found out at 13 and I found out at 33. When we discovered that we had a sister, we knew that her experience could be similar to our stories, or something else entirely. Read more

Life after 23andMe

 

This is Part Two of my journey. You can read part one here

 

Adjusting to a new reality

At the time I write this post, it has been three months since I received the results of a DNA test that confirmed my dad is not my biological father. A lot has taken place since then, and I continue to navigate unfamiliar situations and emotions every single day. Some days are filled with joy and blessings I never could have imagined; others are a struggle as I try to figure out how to reconcile my new reality with the past 33 years.

One thing I have come to believe is that the universe revealed my new truth to me at just the right moment, and in fact, has been preparing me for it for a long time. A few years after my dad died, an amazing women came into my life. She put her arms around me and has never let go. She taught me to trust again, and that it is possible to have family without blood to connect us. Because of her, I know what a healthy mother/daughter relationship feels like, and I wholeheartedly consider her my Mama now. She walked me down the aisle at my wedding and witnessed the birth of my daughter and son. My kids know her as Grandma and our family bond is deep, despite the fact that we don’t share DNA. I have also spent the last 10 years working with an amazing family whose children are all adopted. They are a normal, loving, rambunctious family, and the fact that the kids and parents aren’t biologically related has no effect on their love for each other. Read more

I took the 23andMe test and it changed everything I thought I knew about myself and my family.  

Here is my story…

My name is Jaclyn and I am a 33 year old wife and mom of two. Before I answered to the names “Mrs. Baxter” and “Mommy,” I was an only child growing up in Pollock Pines, California. One thing you should know about me is that from day one, my dad and I were inseparable. To call me a Daddy’s Girl would be an understatement. Even though I always wanted siblings, my dad filled that void by being the best parent, confidant, and friend that I could ask for. He was was the greatest joy of my life for 18 years – my happy place. He died in my arms when I was 18 years old after a life filled with health issues, and his last words to me were “I love you.”

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